FUDS

I have never been so impressed by food-based creative writing.  In this case, by the spirit and willingness to provide bountiful entertainment to the food-loving masses while simultaneously mocking them.
Oh, Brooklyn.  Where thousands upon thousands flocked to Prospect Park last weekend to engage in a cultish (and totally appealing) festival of food, music, people-watching and hat-wearing.  I wasn't invited. No, I was out of town- but seriously, I couldn't get a free ticket because they ran out in like 15 minutes.  Anyway, the point is, somebody made this and handed it out and they are super rad.

The only thing missing is the animal silhouette- but wait, there's a gun!

It looks like so many ridiculous menus I've seen, but is a way better read.  I usually enjoy food descriptions because I'm imagining an amazing item I will get to eat, but most of these things are either unimaginable, or totally unappealing when you do imagine them.  I'm sure this person/these people like food, they just think our(?) obsession with overdoing it has gone way over the top, and it's true.  Who wouldn't go here and spend whatever you got for A Bowl of Norman Paste?  We love waiting in lines!

But seriously, as I read I consider what I'd order.

Sure, there's your basic potty allusions- and those get me every time (a poo-poo-berry possibility?!).  Then there are the Made Up Words that Sound Like Food (Garnick Mushed Malonies).  But it's the details of fine-fancy-Brooklyn-foodery that really impress.  Mustard dust.  Co-Plated with Yam Clippings.  Crammed with Panty Slaw. (Ok, so there's some overlap with the potty jokes)  But who made this stuff up??  Seriously, a huge waste of everyone's time- and honestly, I'm sure if I were trying to escape the Googa Mooga after a day of sunburn and cattle prodding, I'd probably shove away this genius's paper-pushing hand in a heartbeat- but what they've created here is a superb exercise in food imagineering.  MORE FUDS!