Cruises are ridiculous. They are the illusion of luxury by way of excess. Not that I'm complaining, because it's certainly a very easy way to travel. You don't have to negotiate transportation, skim guidebooks, consult maps, or make decisions- other than which 4 courses to choose from the menu.
The cruise menu. It looks like an acceptable selection at an upscale restaurant in a nondescript town. The order of items is somewhat odd, since the first page bombards you with Pasta and the Alternative Choices, and it isn't till you turn your head 12 degrees to the right that you see the appetizers. So much effort! How does this work?? Well, you see (say the cruise experts on voyage 3 or 14): the alternative choices are there every day, and the next page shows the daily specials. You choose an appetizer, a soup or salad, and an entree, and later you choose digestifs, coffee and a dessert from a second menu. Pretty standard stuff, but there's a lot of strategy to cruising, say the experts.
So let's see, these Alternative Choices have me picturing a wedding menu. Nothing wrong with that, just bulk food that will be inoffensive. Needless to say, I never ordered off this section, except for the Sweet & Nutritious Fruits (with a small side of ice cream) and C frequently got Domestic & Imported Cheeses (curious, I wonder what they mean by domestic out here) as her pretend dessert.
I chuckled to see the little "health bush" signifying those dishes "lower in fat, cholesterol and sodium". It made me feel guilty to order a shrubless item. C'mon cruise! I'm gonna order it either way. If it has a bush- I feel justified; if it's naked- I'm like, screw it- I'm on vacation! Not really; I totally kept my eye on that little leaf cluster and was dominated by his presence or absence.
What I love about this menu is all the fancy-ness. The menu itself is over a foot long, and was presented in a huge leather folio. The red cursive headings, all the titles at the top, the footnotes- it's basically a novel. And what the heck is that CHEF graphic? I want to draw a smiley face underneath it, like this:
_____
| | | | | |
| | | | | |
CHEF
o o
\__n/
But we enjoyed ourselves, course after course and tried not to spy last night's leftovers in the Horizon lunch buffet. From this particular menu, I got the Duck Liver Pate, the Romaine Lettuce Salad & the Slow Roasted Lamb Leg with garlic (ouch, no Spa Bush!). I took pride in the fact that I didn't have to look at my menu while ordering- with meals this size, memorizing one's choices is akin to the dramatic category in the Oral Language Faire.
 |
| I'll have the Penne with a side of Fettuccine. |
So let's see, these Alternative Choices have me picturing a wedding menu. Nothing wrong with that, just bulk food that will be inoffensive. Needless to say, I never ordered off this section, except for the Sweet & Nutritious Fruits (with a small side of ice cream) and C frequently got Domestic & Imported Cheeses (curious, I wonder what they mean by domestic out here) as her pretend dessert.
I chuckled to see the little "health bush" signifying those dishes "lower in fat, cholesterol and sodium". It made me feel guilty to order a shrubless item. C'mon cruise! I'm gonna order it either way. If it has a bush- I feel justified; if it's naked- I'm like, screw it- I'm on vacation! Not really; I totally kept my eye on that little leaf cluster and was dominated by his presence or absence.
What I love about this menu is all the fancy-ness. The menu itself is over a foot long, and was presented in a huge leather folio. The red cursive headings, all the titles at the top, the footnotes- it's basically a novel. And what the heck is that CHEF graphic? I want to draw a smiley face underneath it, like this:
_____
| | | | | |
| | | | | |
CHEF
o o
\__n/
But we enjoyed ourselves, course after course and tried not to spy last night's leftovers in the Horizon lunch buffet. From this particular menu, I got the Duck Liver Pate, the Romaine Lettuce Salad & the Slow Roasted Lamb Leg with garlic (ouch, no Spa Bush!). I took pride in the fact that I didn't have to look at my menu while ordering- with meals this size, memorizing one's choices is akin to the dramatic category in the Oral Language Faire.
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